The expected and unexpected

College isn't exactly what I thought it would be. I knew it would late nights, long classes and meeting new people. There were a lot of things that I wasn't expecting either. With what I was expecting and what I wasn't expecting, college is definably a whole new world for me.

With the long nights filled with homework, studying and trying to get thing in some kind of order so it’s a little bit easier to sleep at night. I am the kind of person that needs things into some kind of order so I know what is happening and how much time I have to do each thing. If things are all kinds of crazy in my world I don’t sleep well. Then at the same time I have eight am classes every day, so my sleep cycle isn’t the best. I feel like the classes in college are longer than they were in high school, I like that we don’t have the same class every day. With a certain class every other day, I feel like that we as student get a little extra time to do the homework that was assigned. I know that I have lots of homework that gets assigned, so if I have a little over a day to do it I feel a little less over whelmed about everything that was assigned. I enjoy meeting new people; I am not the best at it though. I am a very shy person at first, but get to know me I will talk to you all day. I wish I was better at making new friends.

When I thought of college when I was in high school I wasn't ready for really being so far away from home. I talk to my mom every day so I don’t feel so homesick. It also helps that my parents come up to see me every now and then. I wasn't expecting that my days would be as long as they are. I feel like my whole day is consumed of things that have to get done. I understand that it’s probably that my day is filled with things to do rather than having time when I am sitting around doing nothing.

College has things that I was aware of and things that I wasn't aware of. I think that’s a good thing because if I knew exactly what it was like then I wouldn't have to grow as much as a person. And its healthy when you have to grow.  

Better Transitioning

This week I feel like that I have transitioned much better than any other week so far. I am feeling a lot better about being in college. It still has its up and downs, but I think that I am feeling better about myself and how I can handle it.

I feel that I can handle things a lot better now because I have a great group of friends that I can go to and just turn to them when my day has not been the best. I have known most of these people before I started college. We have started to become each other’s support group; we eat together, we study together, we make sure that each of us gets our homework done.

Today is Wednesday and I do not have a crazy amount of homework left to do. I just have a few things left on my list of “homework that needs to get done”. I am trying to separate things by days. I do the homework that was assigned the day before so I am alternating subjects, so they stay fresh in my mind. I am also setting more goals for myself. Like when I finish my theology note card then I can have a snack or after I study my human anatomy and physiology I can go talk to my suite mate Sam about something. I now know that I need to relax or chill out and not freak out, that everything is going to be okay.

There is still downs or bumps in my week, like I didn't do so well on my human anatomy and physiology exam. I thought I did well on the exam but it turns out that I didn't do so great on it. That’s really depressing. What made it a little bit harder was that right after I got the test back my roommate came back to the dorm room and was so happy that she got an a on her psychology exam. I am happy for her, I really am but I am still sad that I didn't do as well on my exam.

I hope that next week is about the same but my test scores are better. I know that most of this is all based on how I handle things so I am trying to keep an open mind on things and to just to put a happy face when other people are trying to get me down. I am stronger than that, I can make it through college! 

Hospital Vist

This week my transition from high school was not the best week. It was not that it was bad; it just wasn't the best week of my college career.

I ended up the hospital on Friday night with a fever. I do not have a spleen so mu immune system isn't the best. So when I get a fever I have to go to the hospital to see what the problem is. At the hospital they just gave me Tylenol and sent me back to my dorm. 

Well the next day, Saturday my fever returned but stronger. My parents had driven up from Houston at this point. My mom called my doctor back in Houston to see what should happen next. He told us to go a different hospital in San Antonio. Which we did, they admitted me.

I stayed in that hospital from Saturday night to Tuesday afternoon. They ran all kind of tests and nothing came back positive on the tests. During this time my blood count had dropped so low that they were about to infuse me with blood. Just as they were about to, my count slowly started to increase. I have never had a blood transfusion before. 

After being discharged from the hospital, I came back to Texas Lutheran. I had so much homework that I needed to caught up on. It was at first very overwhelming, but all my professors have been very understanding about it. I really like that; it has helped me from going insane from all the work that piled up.

I am now feeling a lot better about the amount of homework that I still have left to do. I know that if I keep my mind to the task at hand and take breaks every now and then that I will stay clear headed. I hope that this next week coming up isn’t going to be crazy. I would really like a week of easy going. I know that college is more work; I just hope to get the hang of it soon. Even if it doesn’t I know that I can do it. I can do anything that I put my mind to.

Confidence

Confidence, sometimes I don’t have much confidence and other times I can be very confident in myself. I think it all depends on how I am feeling, how the day is going and what the problem at hand is.

When it comes to taking test and exams in school, doesn't matter if it’s in college or even in high school. I start to have small panic attacks and telling myself that I can’t pass the class and that I am not smart enough to make a good grade on the test. Another time when I am very unconfident about my abilities is when I come into a new place; I become the quietest person in the room. I love talking but I can’t bring myself to go up to someone and start a conversation to save my life.

After I start warming up to people and get to know them I can and will talk your ear off. I will talk to you about any subject under the sun. I am not afraid after I get to know you, we will become best friends. When it comes to tests and exams, after I figure out what is going to be on them, I will not be so nervous and anxious about failing the class. I will not talk down to myself. I will start getting kind of cocky about it, but then I will fail a quiz and then I will find the balance of studying.

Ways in which I can improve my confidence is in breathing deep breathes when studying. Another is not loading myself down with studying or in what I need or more like what I would like to complete for the day. I need learn to set more realistic goals in what homework I want to finish for that day. I need to be taking more breaks in my days, so I am more relaxed and not stressed out. It is like the end of the fourth week of college.

These goals should not be too hard to be able to be done. It is just going to be a matter of accomplishing them. This is going to take a couple of weeks to make them habits. I know that if I just keep telling myself that I can that I can do it and keep a clear head that I will be able to accomplish every single one of my goals.

Homesickness

This week in college I do not feel like that I am transitioning very well from high school to college. It has been really hard being like two hundred miles away from home.

I think why my transitioning this week is being so rough is because I am really homesick. I am really close to my mom; we talk every day at least twice a day. My mom is my best friend. She knows when I am upset and exactly what to say to make me feel better.

The other reason I think that my homesickness is so bad, is that I have not really found my place here at Texas Lutheran. The only person that I really hang out with is Hannah, and I knew her before we started. She and I both went to LSSA, Lone Star Scholar Academy. This was here, at Texas Lutheran, like two summers ago.

If it was not for her, I believe that I would be way more homesick then I am now. We are both are huge Doctor Who fans, so we can sit in her room for hours on end and just talk about any Doctor Who episode. That is what we end up doing after we cannot see straight anymore from all the homework we have done.

I really hope that next week I feel better about my transition for high school to college. I don’t like feeling like I am not quite getting something that everyone else is getting. I am just going to have to keep my head up high and hope that everything is smoother next week. I guess time is the only way to tell, and it is not that far away really since today is Wednesday night. I am just going to have to make the best of the rest of what I have left of this week, which is not that much.

Focus

Focusing has been something that I can either do really well at or I just cannot focus at all! On the days that I can focus, I feel awesome! I will be rocking and rolling in whatever that the task at hand is. But on the other days, which is a lot of days now. I think it is that I just can’t get into the groove of things. Hopefully I can get to that point soon. It’s not like my homework isn't getting done, it is just that I am beginning to feel that my homework is never ending.

Things that distract me are like my cell phone; even though I never get text messages, my to-do list of all the homework that keeps piling up, my obsession to finish all of the Doctor Who that’s on Netflix, and being homesick has to be the most distracting thing for me.

To minimize distractions I am going to try to study in a quieter area, try not to look at my phone so much and probably try to put my cell phone in a drawer or my backpack. I am going to have to not look at my to-do list so much, to check on what homework I have left. As for my Doctor Who obsession, I am just going to have to just sit down and watch the rest of the last season; I have like one more episode left to watch.  Then for the homesickness, I am just going to have to just call my mom more often.

How I plan to maximize my focus is that I am going to have to focus more on what I am working on right at the moment. I am going to have to try to keep working on things when I want nothing more to just crawl into bed and sleep for like twelve hours straight.  

Perseverance

My perseverance will help me when I am swamped with homework from all my classes. Like tonight I have so much homework. There is so much that I just want to cry. And it takes me twice as long to do something then it would for my roommate. I know that’s something that is going to be a normal thing that I am in college now. I think the only reason that it is so overwhelming is because it is only the second week. I just have to keep telling myself that I can do it. I can do anything that gets thrown at me. I just have to keep moving forward.

                I always had to work harder than the average person, because I have dyslexia. It is something that I have had since I was in second grade, so it is something that makes me who I am. It’s not something that I am ashamed of. Most people do not understand how I can be so open about being dyslexic. And I would rather be truthful about who I really am and that’s something that makes me who I am.

                With being dyslexic it has taught me to have passion or to put passion into everything that I do. I cannot just halfway do something. If I end up doing something halfway I don’t learn anything, and what is the point of something if you don’t learn anything from it. And what is the point of doing something when you did not learn anything from it. So when I put my whole self in everything that I do then it sticks with me longer then if I just half way do it.

                I try to find some way to find passion in everything that I do not just for my schooling but in my everyday life as well. So being dyslexic has actually helped me in a roundabout way of forcing me to put my all in everything that I do. It really is a blessing in disguise if you think about it long and hard. I have never been ashamed about being dyslexic; lots of famous people are as well. I am really thankful for it; it has shaped me into who I am today. 

Diana Nyad

Setting a world record would have taken all kind of mental toughness. That’s not something that you can do without a plan or even some kind of planning ahead of time. That is something that takes years and years of training to achieve. That is something that you have to keep picking up yourself after each time when you do not quite make it. You have to have really great perseverance to set a world record.

Diana Nyad showed the world that it’s never too late to do the unthinkable over this Labor Day weekend. This lady swam from Cuba’s shore to Florida’s shore. That’s 110 miles, without a shark cage to protect her, in 52 hours. In doing that she set a world record. Oh and I forgot to mention that she is 64 years old. That’s amazing! She has to have had awesome perseverance to keep trying after failing.

I do not know any people that would swim in the open water between Cuba and Florida without any from not just sharks but anything else that is in the water. I mean we do not know what is all in our oceans. And at the same time I do not anyone who can swim nonstop for 52 hours. That is super dangerous if you think about all the things that could possible go wrong. That would scary me, not knowing what could happen to me out in the middle of the ocean. I can also see why Ms. Nyad would want to make it not only for the world record but to show everyone that it can be done.

She is an inspiration to girls everywhere, showing us that no matter your age you can still do amazing things with your life. This shows me that even though I am not really anyone important in this world, that I can still do something amazing or earth shattering. That my name can be maybe someday be known for doing that no one thought was possible.  Her world record will always be something that will help me to keep trying when all I want to do is give up.